Hiatus on Dreaming

In my heart of hearts, I have a forbidden room, filled with snow globes that can shatter at any given moment. I call them my dreams – the snow globes being filled with an idyllic snapshot of the world of possibilities. Things from my childhood, like wanting to learn how to use a cash register, or wanting to work with animals, to things like pursuing degrees, globetrotting, and jobs in different industries.

The dreams I have fulfilled hold a dear spot in that forbidden room, but some have shattered… and some are dusty. There was one in particular that I had been keeping an eye on for the past few months, something I’m reluctant to put a label on right now.

After careful deliberation – after holding that dream in my hands, staring at the dream that germinated when I first pursued English, after playing Diablo 2 with my brother and father… I wiped my tears, and moved that dream on a higher shelf. Still so pretty to look at, still so breathtaking, and I wept for now.

That dream helped me for so long – gave me so many friends, gave me the idea of starting this twitter, gave me passion and love for this amazing Blizzard community. My live is so much more vibrant and meaningful for YOU being in it. This is in no means a farewell to that dream, but a bigger thing to chase after.

I’m doing this because I’m not ready, and I’m the better person for realizing that I’m not at 100% and if I can’t provide that, then I should rescind. I’m happy being Shappi, and in the long run, that’s what matters.


ブログ:Warlords of Draenor

明けましておめでとうございます。2014はWarcraftについてとっても良い年になります。今年はWorld of Warcraft十周年記念、あとWarcraft世界の二十周年記念になります。それのお祝いに新しい情報を出したいと思います。


[#wowjp] 5.4.2. ホットフィックス

December 11


  • Hunter
    • General
      • Deterrenceで変更されたタレント「Crouching Tiger, Hidden Chimera」はちゃんとPhysical Interrupt Effects にImmunityを頂きます。
      • Revive Petのキャストタイムは2秒になりました。
    • Talents
      • Battle Petが間違えてSpirit Bond のタレントをもらっていた問題を解決しました。

Raids, Dungeons, and Scenarios

  • Siege of Orgrimmar
    • Paragons of the Klaxxi
      • AimをInterruptすればHisek the SwarmkeeperはもうFireでプレイヤーを攻撃しません。
      • Tankがもし13yard離れていればKorven the PrimeはTankだけを引っ張ります。あと、Shield Bashされたターゲットは必ずVicious AssaultのDoTにかかります。
      • Tankがもし13yard離れていればSkeer the BloodseekerはTankだけを引っ張ります
  • Throne of Thunder
    • Durumu the Forgotten
      • ターゲットされたHoly PriestがSpirit of Redemptionで亡くなった場合Cone of Lightが聞かない問題を解決しました。

Battlegrounds and Arenas

  • Arenas
    • アリーナ対戦はまた20分マックスになりました。
    • Hunter aspects又はTrap Launcher effectはアリーナ対戦の前に消えないようになってます。
    • Mage armor buffsはアリーナ対戦の前に消えないようになってます。
    • Paladin sealsはアリーナ対戦の前に消えないようになってます。
    • Priest’s Inner Fire, and Inner Willはアリーナ対戦の前に消えないようになってます。

[Recipe]: Paw-mpkin Pie

Mal’s Paw-mpkin Pie

(makes two medium depth 9-inch pies)

1 8oz package of cream cheese, softened
30 oz (2 cans) canned pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie filling)
1 cup sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1 egg + 2 egg yolks, slightly beaten
1 cup Half and Half
1/4 cup (bout half a stick) melted butter
2 tsp Vanilla extract
2 tsp Cinnamon
1/2 tsp Powdered Ginger
1/2 tsp Nutmeg
1/2 tsp Powdered Clove
2 oz. Spiced Rum (I use Sailor Jerry’s)

Pie Crust
(I used pre-made dough, because it’s hard to knead dough with paws.)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees, press dough firmly into 9″ pie pans, pierce liberally with a fork, and make a pretty pattern round the edge. Cut aluminum foil to cover each crust completely (do not press foil down around sides), and weigh them down into the pies with weights or dried beans. Bake for 10 minutes, then remove your foil/weights and let ‘em bake another 10 minutes to dry out and firm up your crust a bit. This will help prevent the crust from getting ‘mushy’ as it bakes with the filling in it.


In a large mixing bowl, beat cream cheese with a hand-held mixer very well. Add pumpkin and beat until combined. Add sugar and salt, beat until smooth. You shouldn’t have any identifiable ‘bits’ of cream cheese floating about, and it can help to clean the beaters during this process to prevent unwanted strays.

Mix lightly scrambled eggs+yolk, half and half and butter together, then pour into mixing bowl with other ingredients, beat until combined.

Add vanilla extract, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, spiced rum and beat until incorporated.

Pour mixture into pie crusts, and bake at 350 for 60-80 minutes. Pies are done when fork (if you care about aesthetics, use a piece of dry spaghetti) comes out mostly clean from the middle, and crust is browned. Those at high altitude will need to make the obvious adjustments. The pies bake faster at higher temperatures (obviously), but I’ve found that longer cooking time at lower temperatures helps preserve a smoother texture.

I’m thinking of halving the pumpkin and spices, and only baking one pie to see what kind of results that gives. I also want to try adding a 1/4 teaspoon of Mace to the unmodified recipe to see how that rounds out the spice flavors.


Sometimes, people from the Kirin Tor come by. They know that Halfhill’s the place to be – to check out things, to hear the subtle whispers of secrets wafting by, to observe…

The latest thing to observe? Me.

As far as they know, I don’t use what they call “mana” – what he explained was a sort of life force-y essence of their beings that they can channel into spells they form via spellspeech  into magical energies that they can convert into fire, for example. He showed me how easy it was to conjure a bit of fire to assist Sungshin to cook lunch for us faster.

He told me to breathe deeply and concentrate on what feels right, and to let instincts lead me…

A terrified hiss made me open my eyes – Vaekitty was FLOATING! Uhm… uh… HOW did I do THAT!? I panicked as she started hissing and yowling louder, then she fell down, and ran back into our home. I deflated, as the mage laughed heartily.

“Good job, Sha! Now, you just cast Levitate – that’s why your cat was floating around… wouldn’t want to be you when you go home…” He coughs, then continues, “Okay, remember that feeling, close your eyes, and pretend that you have a big house. Levitate is just a room in that house. Do you see it like that?” I nodded. “Good. Now, concentrate on this bread and open that door…” He chuckled, then I opened my eyes.


“Hey, concentrate now! Okay, keep it at my height and float it over to Sungshin.” We both held our breath as it slowly moved to Sungshin. She had a smile as she opened her paws. I closed the door to Levitate and the bread dropped gently into her paws.

“Good job, hon!” She called out. “Time for lunch, now!”

I smile at the mage as we head over to a table.

I sit silently and let the shadows consume me. I sit quietly and observe; to learn how the two legged folk interact with each other… I still don’t understand factions, and why they must fight. To me, it is unnecessary, and only invites more and more conflict that can destroy Pandaria, and Azeroth. For their feelings… they can manifest within the magics of Pandaria. It’s an open invitation for my brothers to come and taunt them, then harvest their feelings. A dangerous practice it is, to solve things with weapons instead of words. I asked many wanderers why.

For the greatest adventure.

To learn of Pandaria.

For honour of my faction.

For the King/Warchief.

For vengeance.

It’s the little moments that count, for they are precious. If you look away, they can disappear. A plant growing, a flower blossoming, a smile, love… those are the things that we need more of. Those are the moments where you live, those are the moments that I strive for. Fleeting joy, happiness… Truly magnificent. Life is complicated for them two-legged folk. It’s not as black and white, as it is for me. The Lorewalkers seek the knowledge within me, my magic that I do not know how to harness, just yet. They seek stories within their Lore, but I am the first of my kind, they say. Daddy never cared for Pandaria, they say. I want to know more, and for that, I must slip back into the shadows.

After all, darkness, y’know, is relative.


Light of Life


Sometimes… depression is like swimming endlessly.

Occasionally, you see some remnants of the good times, and remnants of reminders of things in the past. Learn from them, and settle your inner Sha.

I’ve learned time and time again, that there are always setbacks, you can’t be prepared for everything to come your way, and sometimes – the best way to proceed is to wing it. It’s fine, it’s going to be okay. It’s completely normal to have mistakes come your way.

Sometimes, there’s a reprieve from swimming in the sea of Depression. Take a deep breathe. It will get better. Keep on telling yourself this, and you’ll find that your outlook on life will be better.

And yet, the reprieve can seem like a dream… but it’s up to you to make sure you aren’t drowning.

Sometimes, you get so much stuff flung at you and you want to desperately give up. You’re swimming upstream, you’re tired, you want to give up so much, and you’re screaming for help.

I’ve been there. In real life, there are no game overs. Once you hit the end, that’s it. I beg of you, PLEASE talk to someone.

Death is permanent. I don’t want to say goodbye to any of you. Life is truly beautiful, and it takes love to truly feel good. Love yourself, and remember – there are people that love you in the world. Don’t let the bright light of Life dim, then flicker out.

I share my experiences with depression because I know I’m not the only person that is fighting the Sha of Depression. The quest chain in the temple of the White Tiger stabbed at me and brought up many feelings, so VIVID in my mind that I couldn’t complete the quest line. I just completely shut off my computer and didn’t go near WoW for a few days. Facing my own fear paralyzed me from a place that is usually my sanctuary from my real life.

I’m in the education profession and it’s rough seeing the every day life of my students. I’ve been in their shoes, and I know about the club that nobody wants to ever join: depression, abuse, and other things that society loves to pretend that it doesn’t exist. But heads up peeps – it does. It’s because people feel ashamed to admit that they aren’t perfect.

Humans are never perfect, just so you know. {◕ ◡ ◕}

Ask for help when you need it. Life gets better once you ask… I know because I finally asked and my life IS on the right track for once. ♥

United States:

  • Cutting: 1-800-366-8288
  • Substance Abuse: 1-877-726-4727
  • Domestic Abuse: 1-800-799-7233
  • Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
  • Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
  • LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
  • Human trafficking: 1-(888)-373-7888
  • Trevor Project (LGBT sexuality support): 1-866-488-7386
  • Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
  • Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
  • Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
  • Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
  • Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
  • Exhale: Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253


  • Samaritans (Suicide / General Crisis): 08457 90 90 90
  • Rape: 0808 802 634 1414
  • Eating / Weight Issues: 0845 634 1414



  • Lifeline (for crisis support): 13 11 14
  • Kids help line: 1800 55 1800
  • Suicide help: 1300 22 4636


It has been an amazing and humbling and rewarding experience, being able to champion something that I desperately believe in. The AbleGamers Foundation is an amazing cause – an advocate for equality in gaming. Although I had to cut my time short, due to other circumstances… the 12 hours we DID have was just fun! Whether it be bonking the widdle wabbit with the kind folks of AIE, to chain LFR’ing pretty much everything (and I got the ToT achievement!) to winding down by making things in minecraft… and creating a ToC style game where a kind gentleman showered us with zombies and skeletons to kill us repeatedly.

It’s powerful, seeing so many just RT everything I said, and the encouraging words everyone left, whether it be in a tweet, email, or Skype. I cherish each and every single one. To those that came along with me through chain ToT, that was insanely fun. To be honest, I didn’t do much in there yet, so it was also a learning experience for me.

To those that donated, your donations are greatly appreciated by myself, and the entire AbleGamers crew.

To those that RT’d, sent me love in other ways, I greatly appreciate it.

And simply to our World of Warcraft community that helped me raise $652 (at the time of this post) to help out a magnificent group of people?

I love you.

Don’t forget about this moment when we all stood together. You can help out the foundation by volunteering here.